Do you hate “selling”? You need to re-evaluate this if you want to be influential.
Most people hate the idea of selling.
I was speaking in South Africa, and after the engagement I thought it would be nice to check out the local sites. I stopped in front of a restaurant to peruse their menu for dinner.
The hostess did a great job engaging me about what was great about the menu. She made a few recommendations. The one she was most enthusiastic about involved paying a little more than the other options.
I was engaged in our conversation and then she said, almost apologetically,
“But I’m not selling you – this is really my opinion.”
Translation:
“But I’m not lying to your face….I’m telling you the truth this time!”
Why is it that so many of us hate the idea of being associated with selling? Why is selling frequently equated with “being disingenuous”?
I think it’s because we have all seen (and even been victims of) manipulative techniques. It’s true we don’t want to take part in that kind of behavior, but throwing the baby out with the bathwater is not the answer either.
Influence = Selling
If you want to be influential, you are by definition engaging in selling. We are all salespeople, whether we want to be or not. From the time you let out your first cry as an infant, you were engaging in selling at some level.
The key to being successful at influence is to change the meaning you assign to selling. Change your definitions and associations. For example, isn’t selling really about helping someone make a decision that is best for them?
The act of selling is in reality, a neutral process. Our motives and how we facilitate selling is what makes it “good” or “bad”.
To be successful as a leader, you need to know the difference and reject any broad-brush notions that “selling is bad or evil.”
What does selling mean to you? What do you want it to mean going forward?
A collaboration with David C Miller, Author of The Influential Actuary
People are probably afraid of being thought of as a smarmy, “What do I need to do to get you into this car today” kind of sales person. Thanks for the reminder that when we act from a position of facilitating and problem solving we become someone our prospect wants to engage with.
Definitely they are. When I started my practice, I was worried about being perceived as pushy, and that held me back. If you are clearly trying to help someone, and it’s clear to them that you are trying to help, offering your solution as an option when you truly believe it could be (without pressuring them) should not be perceived as pushy.
John, selling is a big subject. In my holistic healing practice, the main thing I sell is sessions of holistic coaching and/or of direct energy healing. Since everyone has some pain or concern, everyone needs me. I just Be Myself, give talks for professional groups, and the right people call me for appointments when the time is right for them. Oh, and I write articles– over 850 online now– with a QR code on my business card. Thanks for raising this important subject.
You’re welcome, Kebba. That’s a lot of articles! (By now, I’ve written the equivalent of about 3 books…)