When And Where Do You Vent?

We all vent at times.

 

That’s healthy.  It releases the valve on the pressure cooker that holds our frustrations in check.  It lets them out so we can reset a bit.

 

But how and when we do it can affect relationships and our reputation.

 

I often see posts on LinkedIn where someone complains about this or that aspect of the job search process. Here’s part of a recent example:

 

Job postings here for the most part are s…t.  I would say between 80 to 85% of them are terrible.  They are poorly written with a lot of ambiguous language.  Some even make no effort whatsoever to hide the employer’s bad intentions…

 

I empathize with what they are saying, because it can be an extremely frustrating roller coaster.  (Hence the tagline I use most often:  “I help job seekers who are frustrated with their search.”)  And he’s getting a lot of traction in his posts, lots of people commenting how they agree with him, sharing their own war stories.

 

Now his vent isn’t too bad – but the phrase in the middle about an employer’s bad intentions caught my eye.  That’s what might make my antennae rise, as I start to wonder about his attitudes towards employers in general.  And he goes on from there with a lot more complaints about the process.

 

Or how about this comment on another post?

 

Interviewing for a job feels alarming similar to showing up to a first date with your dating app match. Within the first few minutes, you can already sniff how low their emotional intelligence barometer is…It’s just not compatible with what we’re looking for, and it’s painful clear they’re not interested in our potential. Only how well we’ll willingly conform to their idea of “the perfect fit” that requires the least amount of effort, change, or growth on their part for them to call the relationship “successful.” NEXT!

 

But here’s the thing.  Is the public venting helping or hurting them in the job search?

 

If I’m a prospective employer, who do I most want to hire?

 

For a sales role:

• Someone who understands that sales involves a lot of rejection, and perseveres despite that.

 

For a customer service role:

• Someone who handles the most difficult customers with professionalism, who doesn’t take affront when they complain, listens with empathy, calms them down and turns them into satisfied (or at least less dissatisfied) customers.

 

For almost any role:

• Someone who will work well with others, who others on the team will look forward to working with, and who handles problems well with minimal complaints.

 

You might say, “Who’s going to see what I wrote?  It was only a comment I made on someone else’s post.”

 

Any employer worth their salt is going to research candidates they might interview, definitely including looking at your LinkedIn profile and recent posts, and likely googling to see what else of interest might come up.  If they see negativity, is that going to make them more likely to invite you in for the interview?  I don’t think so.

 

The same is true for people who you might want in your corner as networking contacts or internal advocates – are they more or less likely to connect, meet or advocate if they come across rants you’ve written?

 

And any public venting you do is going to tend to attract other people who are frustrated with the same thing, which can reinforce your negative feelings.  And you may not be surrounding yourself with the best people to help you succeed.

 

So here’s my advice to you:

• Severely limit (or even eliminate) your venting in public settings or postings.
• Find some people you trust to whom you can vent when you need to.
• Even with them, try to mix it up.  Find some positive things to talk about as well, so you don’t start to come across as the victim they want to avoid.

 

Here’s something else I wrote on venting.

 

What do you think about all of this?  Leave your thoughts below.  And if you need to vent, I can take it!