Have you ever missed an appointment? You scheduled a meeting or call with someone and for some reason it didn’t make your calendar or you just totally forgot about it?
Dave shares his own experience with this, and lessons learned from which we can all benefit:
I scheduled an important call with a promising prospect and didn’t put it on my calendar. Pretty sloppy, isn’t it?
When I realized it, I felt terrible, emailed my apologies and followed that up with a phone call with a more personal apology and a request to reschedule. To my dismay, I got no response.
My Response
Days went by and my feelings of anxiety and regret grew. I was mad at myself for being so unprofessional and figured this prospect felt the same way. Why else would they not even respond to me? Even if it was to say they are no longer interested in working with me.
During those two or three days, I didn’t sleep well. The past events were continuously running through my head. I wasn’t as focused on my work. I was racked with worry!
The Outcome
After a couple of tortured days and nights, I finally decided to reach out again for rescheduling (no more apologies, time move on). To my surprise and delight, my prospect apologized to me for taking so long to get back to me.
Long story short, we rescheduled our call and continued to do business together. All my worrying resulted in wasted time, emotion and energy!
I realized I had to look at this aspect of myself when I had two other events that same week where I was tied up in knots worrying and both situations worked out!
The Lesson
I’ve heard that at least 90% of the things we worry about never come to pass. While it’s important to be responsible and conscientious, we are all human and will blow it sometimes.
So rather than beating yourself up, here are some things to keep in mind:
- Realize your mistake is in the past. No amount of regret will change this.
- Look at the mistake as a learning experience. I’ve been much more careful with my calendar since this past event.
- Focus on what you can control. For example, I can’t control whether someone calls me back or not. I can only do my part to own my outreach to the other person. No matter what situation you are worrying about, trying to control what you can’t control is a recipe for disaster.
- Manage your thought life. Most, if not all, of my anxiety was a result of scenarios I was making up in my head. Don’t borrow trouble! Don’t make the situation worse than it is.
- Remember, it’s how you recover that counts!
Influential leaders need to manage their own anxiety in order to effectively lead others!
A collaboration with David C Miller, Author of The Influential Actuary
A great reminder that we need to acknowledge a mistake/wrong-doing but move on. I especially like the reminder of #4 – Manage my thought life. This is post-it note worthy to remind myself daily of the power my thoughts can have on me moving forward in my business.
Yes. We tend to put gremlins on our shoulders and give them power over us!
https://jhacareers.com/what-gremlins-hold-you-back/
This situation is a beautfiul example to remind us that our reactions make a difference.
I particularly love takeaway #2. I often view mistakes (or some say ‘failures’) as learning experiences. With that mindset, I can quickly recover and keep going. Thanks for sharing this post, John.
You’re welcome, Desi-Ann. We often learn more from our mistakes than our successes.